Disconnected

She sits silent in her darkened room
     wild-eyed, staring at the wall like a distant mirage
     eating her lower lip as if
     she hadn't had a proper meal in weeks

She feels the rain as it begins to drum on
     the roof; her toes nervously keep time
     on the old oak floor as her gaze shifts
     to the dark void that was once a TV
     screen; she is missing her stories...

She twitches occasionally as the electric
     tension she holds in her shoulders
     fires lightning bolts down her limbs;
     her anxiety could power a small
     city, if only she could plug into the grid

She is frozen in time, the fearlessness of
     childhood poverty now melted into the
     powerless-ness of adult desperation

She forces herself back to reality, picks up
     the pen, and writes the check
     she knows she can't cover

Prison

I've been in prison since the day I was born. It has taken on many forms. It is an ever-shifting, ever-evolving, and ever-present state of being, more than an actual physical prison. At times, I have been tricked into entering without the slightest idea that's what I was doing.
I have been in the prison of poverty all my life. I've also been locked in due to intelligence; loneliness; physical differences; differences of opinion and belief; love, and the loss of it; abuse of many kinds; and yes, actual, physical prison.
It seems that the fight is never-ending. There is a constant struggle to break free of whichever prison is most restricting at any given moment in my life. I just begin to think I am free of one form of prison, that I have finally stepped out of the gate into the sunlight of the free world, when I suddenly realize I have just traded one cage for another.
I realize that most of the walls that keep me in are of my own creation and exist purely through my choice to keep them in place. And yet, often, it seems that I have little control over this aspect of my life. In fact, I am often not even aware that the walls are there until they begin to close in so quickly I fear I'll be crushed. It seems that I am completely oblivious until the moment I find myself completely overwhelmed and aching to break free...
Some days, I fear I will never be free.

A fragment from my fragmented mind...

The world faded away...

Distilled itself into a mist of nothingness and drifted off...

Left me as I was making love to myself in the mirror of my internal void...

As I contemplated homicide, suicide, angelcide...

As I made love to myself by the righteous light of the television screen, computer screen, pipe screen, smoke screen, eternally screaming inane creatures finally disbursed to their respective asylums.

Help! I need somebody...

OK, so I'm in school, I have finally figured out what I want to do with my life, now I am in a hurry to get down to the business of living. Call it making up for lost time! I know what I want, and I know what I have to do to get it.
Beyond school and my career path, I have known what I want in my personal life for a long time. I want to settle down with an incredible woman, make a home, have babies (four-legged ones, that is!) and live some slightly-altered version of the American dream. Yep, that's right, I want to be a housewife! :) And you may think I'm crazy, but I think it sounds great! Let my partner be the breadwinner! (You didn't think I was getting a degree in photography to be a 9-5er, did you?!) In between cooking and cleaning and laundry, I would have plenty of time to go places and take incredible photos... Especially since Western Oregon has so much so close... There are enough incredible landscapes around here to keep a photographer busy her entire life! And of course, the plan is to sell all these incredible images, so I would be making my financial contribution, as well...
So it sounds like I've got it all figured out, right? What's the problem, you're wondering? I'll tell you...
The problem is that I have a picture in my mind, and I know exactly the life I want to live, but I have, as of yet, been unable to find a woman who shares my vision. There is a void in my family portrait. I know she's out there. I have felt I have come close to finding her, and yet she seems to always be just beyond me...
I have an incredible amount of love to give. I long to find a woman I can really romance and pamper and spoil rotten! I am a little perplexed to find that none of the women I have met in my life seem to be ready for or open to being loved...
I have been learning recently that if I want something, I have to really go out and get it, work for it, and I suppose love is no different. So here's what I'm asking of you, friends... If you think you know an incredible, creative, intelligent, open, bi or lesbian woman who is also ready to find love... I would love to meet her! Yes, maybe it smacks of desperation that I am now seeking to be 'set up', but frankly, life is too short to sit around waiting for love to somehow magically fall from the sky. It just isn't going to happen. And really, can you expect to find anyone of quality at a bar? NO! Online? Not likely. So I'm going the old-fashioned route. I figure if my friends like her, she must be something special, because I have some really awesome friends!
So introduce me, already! That's all I ask... Just an introduction, and I will take care of the rest! (Oh, and redheads rock! Just sayin'!)

For Phoenix

I wrote this for my niece, Phoenix, as I sang her to sleep and gazed into her baby blues. I am so in love, and miss her so much!

Phoenix
I sing you down into the deep
And just before you drift to sleep
I see myself reflected in your wondering eyes
As deep as the ocean and as wide as the sky
And there within I see the beauty that can be
The love that lives in you
And the hope that lives in me...

Basquiat

The following is my American Art History term paper from spring term. I could Have written 20+ pages about Jean-Michel Basquiat, but given the time frame I had to work in, I chose to fulfill the assignment requirements, and not much more. I hope you find the paper informative and interesting, if not as flush with detail as this incredible artist deserved. Thanks for reading!

Basquiat

Early Years

Jean-Michel Basquiat joined the world in Brooklyn, New York, December 22, 1960, the child of Haitian-born Gerard Basquiat, and Matilde (Andrades) Basquiat, who was born in Brooklyn to Puerto Rican immigrant parents. He had 2 younger sisters, Lisane, born in 1964, and Jeanine, born 1967.

From a very early age, Jean-Michel showed an interest in and a talent for art. He often drew and sketched alongside his mother, who had a passion for fashion design and drawing.  They often visited the Brooklyn Museum of Modern Art, and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Matilde did all she could to support, develop, and encourage her son’s talent and interest in the arts.

When he was just 7 years old, Jean-Michel teamed up with a friend from school to create a children’s book. It was written by Jean-Michel, and illustrated by both boys.

By the age of eight, Jean-Michel was fluent in 3 languages: English, French, and Spanish. He later learned German and Italian.

In May of 1968, Basquiat was hit by a car while playing ball in the street. He broke his arm and required multiple surgeries for internal injuries. He eventually had to have his spleen removed. While in the hospital, his mother gave him a copy of Gray’s Anatomy to help him understand what was happening and give him something to keep busy. The impression this made on him was profound, and the lingering effects can be seen in works throughout his career. Many of his works include anatomical drawings and medical terms.

Adolescent Years

In 1977, Jean-Michel dropped out of high school, left his parents’ Brooklyn home and moved to Lower Manhattan. “Papa,” he said, “I’m going to be famous.” A dream declared.

In the beginning, he was essentially homeless, supporting himself by selling postcards and t-shirts he had painted, panhandling, and couch hopping from one friend’s apartment to the next. He was also well loved by the ladies, and was known to have several girlfriends (sometimes at the same time) that would help him to feed and clothe himself.

In an interview, Jean-Michel recalls this time with a sense of sad nostalgia. “I walked for days and days without sleeping, living like a bum, drinking wine with winos, panhandling. I thought I would be a bum forever.”

Before leaving home, Basquiat met Al Diaz, a fellow graffiti artist, and they would later collaborate on the ‘SAMO©’ project. SAMO© is believed to stand for ‘SAMe Old shit’ by some, but this continues to be debated. In 1976, graffiti bearing the SAMO© tag began to appear around the streets of Manhattan. Poems, riddles, and multiple choice questions poked fun at the ‘problems’ of the masses, and promoted the panacea ‘drug’ SAMO©.  One SAMO© tag read, “SAMO© as an end to mindwash religion, nowhere politics, and bogus philosophy.” SAMO© was well known around the city by 1978. The Village Voice even included an article about the artwork in a journal published the same year. 

The SAMO© series ended in late 1979, with the words ‘SAMO© is DEAD’ appearing in multiple locations around the city.

The Breakthrough and the Career

In June of 1980, Basquiat's art was publicly exhibited for the first time in a show sponsored by Colab (Collaborative Projects Incorporated) along with the work of Jenny Holzer, Lee Quinones, Kenny Scharf, Kiki Smith, Robin Winters, John Ahearn, Jane Dickson, Mike Glier, Mimi Gross, and David Hammons.  The show – sometimes called the ‘Times Square Show’ – garnered much attention from the art world, and Basquiat’s work was an instant ‘hit’ with art critics, artists, and art dealers.

I don’t think this came as much of a surprise to Jean-Michel, who had always been fascinated by fame, and had once said of himself, “Since I was seventeen, I thought I might be a star.  I had a romantic feeling of how people had become famous.”

Jean-Michel was then swept up almost immediately into a whirlwind of gallery shows, interviews, and photo shoots. He truly was an ‘overnight success’ and everyone wanted a piece of him. Over the next year or so, Basquiat continued to exhibit his work around New York City and in Europe, participating in shows alongside contemporaries like Keith Haring and Barbara Kruger.

In December of 1981, poet and artist Rene Ricard published the first major article on Basquiat entitled "The Radiant Child" in the magazine ArtForum. This was the breakthrough that shot him from notoriety within the art world, to flat-out superstardom and a much wider audience.

In late 1981, he joined the Annina Nosei gallery in SoHo, Manhattan. By 1982, Basquiat was showing regularly alongside Julian Schnabel, David Salle, Francesco Clemente and Enzo Cucchi, involved with the Neo-expressionist movement. He was represented in Los Angeles, California by the Larry Gagosian gallery, and throughout Europe by Bruno Bischofberger. He briefly dated then-aspiring performer Madonna in late 1982. That same year, Basquiat also worked briefly with musician and artist David Bowie.

Basquiat was known for his extravagance. He often painted in Armani suits, and would appear in public in these same paint-splattered $1,000 suits. He would buy expensive gourmet foods, and let them spoil in his refrigerator. He would bring gourmet pastries to gallery shows, take a bite, then throw them on the floor. But perhaps his most expensive habit was heroin. He was widely known as a user, and never tried to hide it. Those close to him often became concerned and tried to get him to kick, but the few times he got clean, it was short-lived.

 In 1983, Basquiat met Andy Warhol, and the two became fast friends. They had lengthy discussions about things like white patrons buying black art, the pros and cons of segregation and integration, and whether or not art should be judged differently based on the artist’s ethnic perspective. They also collaborated on several paintings, none of which were received very warmly by critics.

The Art

Jean-Michel’s work is known for it’s amalgamation of racial and political themes with humor, a sense of the plight of the every-man, the cry to awaken from our national (and sometimes global) apathy, and sometimes, a re-examination of the work of other artists. 

He famously ‘retold the tale’ of Mona Lisa, painting her in his unique childish, scribbled style, with details of a one dollar bill in the background. It was this very child-like style that captured the attention of art critics and dealers. Basquiat often gripped his paintbrush or paintstick like a young child would. He wanted to capture both the child-like wonder and the fears and joys we all experience in childhood. He would sometimes use crayons or chalk in his work as well, to try to tap into his inner child. But, as he famously said, “Believe it or not, I can actually draw!”

Most of Basquiat’s work features written text. He would often repeat the same word several times within the same piece, sometimes crossing them out, or crossing out individual letters within the words. He said he did this intentionally, to call more attention to the words or letters that were crossed out.

Crowns also became a recurring theme in his work, as well as becoming his personal trademark. He said the crown stood for the holiness and royalty of all men. That all people were kings or queens in their own life, and that we should all celebrate ourselves. The crown also stood as a symbol of the triumph of the black man over slavery. It was a reminder that many slaves had been important people to their tribes in Africa before capture, and the struggle of the race to recapture that sense of importance after slavery ended.

The End

When his great friend, Andy Warhol, died on February 22, 1987, it took a great toll on Jean-Michel. He became somewhat of a recluse, and began using even more heroin. In early 1988, he attempted to kick his heroin habit. He left the tempting world of New York behind and retreated to his ranch in Hawaii.

He came back to New York in June of ’88. He claimed he was drug-free, and many said he seemed to be happier and calmer than they had ever seen him.

On August 12, 1988, Jean-Michel Basquiat died as a result of a heroin overdose. As his one-time girlfriend Madonna once said of him, “He was too fragile for this world.”

 

Conclusion

I’m sure there is much more to write about Basquiat. Although his candle was snuffed out much too soon, his light shone brightly. He left a mark not only on the art world, but in the hearts of all of those (like myself) that have been inspired by him.

Time constraints did not allow me to paint as complete a picture of the man as I’d have liked to. Before I began writing this paper, I thought I knew quite a lot about JMB. But the more research I did for the paper, the more I learned, and the more I became aware of just how little I knew about him. There is just so much to know. He made quite an impact in this world, for a man who only lived 27 years.

History of Rock & Roll Term Paper

Chris Cornell & Soundgarden:

Architects of Grunge

Biography

Christopher John Boyle was born July 20, 1964 in Seattle, Washington. He was the son of Ed Boyle (an Irish Catholic pharmacist) and Karen Cornell (a Jewish accountant).  The world would come to know him better as Chris Cornell, one of the greatest hard rock and heavy metal vocalists of all time…

Chris was born and raised in Seattle. He attended Christ the King Catholic Elementary School, and Shorewood High School. He has 5 siblings: 2 older brothers named Peter and Patrick, and 3 younger sisters named Katy, Suzy, and Maggie. Most of these siblings are musically talented as well. Peter, Katy, and Suzy were in the 1990’s band Inflatable Soul. Peter currently fronts the band Black Market Radio, and Katy sings lead vocals for the Seattle band Happy Hour Hero.

When Chris was 9 years old, he found – and stole – a stash of old abandoned Beatles records in a neighbor’s basement, and listened to almost no other music besides the Beatles for the next 2 years. In his childhood, Chris experienced a high level of social anxiety, and kept to himself. At some point, though, he discovered that he could ease his anxiety with rock music, and that allowed him to come out of his shell.

Chris had taken piano lessons from a young age, but had always been bored with the instrument. He claims that his mom ‘saved his life’ when she bought him a snare drum. One week later, he had managed to find the money to buy a whole drum kit, and that was when he truly began to find himself in rock music.

As a teenager, Chris experimented a lot with drugs and alcohol. He had a major problem with authority, and this combined with his social anxieties made school very difficult for him. Due to the difficulties he was having, he dropped out at the age of 15. He also wanted to work to help his mother and provide support for his younger sisters.  Chris worked at the popular Ray’s Boathouse in Seattle. He waited tables, was a seafood wholesaler, and for a time, a sous chef.

In the early eighties, Chris was a member of a cover band in Seattle called the Shemps. The Shemps also featured Hiro Yamamoto on bass. They performed around Seattle, but never made it big. Kim Thayil replaced Yamamoto as bass player when Hiro decided to leave the band. Eventually, due to disagreements about artistic direction, the Shemps disbanded. After the split, Cornell and Yamamoto would sometimes jam together, and eventually invited Thayil to join them.

These jam sessions eventually led to the formation of Soundgarden, in the mid-eighties. Cornell, Yamamoto, and Thayil founded Soundgarden in 1984. The band is named after a popular art installation in Seattle.  They were originally a trio, with Chris on drums and vocals. In 1985, Scott Sundquist joined the group on drums, allowing Cornell to focus solely on vocals. Three of their earliest recordings appeared on a compilation for C/Z Records, entitled Deep Six.

In 1986, Sundquist would leave the band in order to spend more time with his family. He was replaced by the former Skin Yard drummer, Matt Cameron, who then became Soundgarden’s permanent drummer.

Soundgarden first signed with Sub Pop. They released the EP Screaming Life in 1987, followed by Fopp in 1988. The two albums were combined and released as Screaming Life/Fopp  in 1990. The band was being scouted by major labels as early as 1988, but did not immediately strike a deal with the mainstream. Chris has said that they still felt like a local band, a garage band of sorts, and weren’t really prepared for the big time.

In 1988, they left Sub Pop and signed with SST Records. Later that same year, they released their debut album, Ultramega OK. In 1990, the album got them a Grammy nomination for Best Metal Performance. This led them to sign with A&M Records, and they were the first Seattle grunge band to sign to a major label.

Louder than Love (1989) was the first album they released under their new label. After this album was released, Yamamoto decided to leave the band to go back to school. He earned a Master’s in Physical Chemistry from Western Washington University. Yamamoto was replaced by Jason Everman, a former Nirvana guitarist. Everman toured with the band in support of ‘Louder than Love’, but was fired shortly after the tour ended. In 1990 Ben Shepard joined the group as their new bassist.

The early 1990’s saw a huge influx of grunge bands and style into the mainstream. The movement that had started in clubs in Seattle was now taking the world by storm. Everyone on the scene in Seattle knew who Chris Cornell was, and knew his band Soundgarden had layed the foundation for every other band to follow. Soon, the whole world would know who Soundgarden was, and would be transfixed by their lead vocalist.

In 1991, the band recorded Badmotorfinger, the album that propelled them to new heights both commercially, and influentially. The album included the singles, ‘Outshined’, ‘Rusty Cage’, and ‘Jesus Christ Pose’, all of which garnered a lot of airtime on rock and alternative radio stations. ‘Jesus Christ Pose’ was the subject of a lot of controversy, and therefore did not get played on MTV like the others. Badmotorfinger earned the band a second Grammy nod for Best Metal Performance in 1992.

Superunknown was released in 1994, and would become the band’s true breakthrough album, taking them from grunge and alternative rock stars to mainstream rock superstars. The album debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 chart. Superunknown spawned the hit singles ‘Black Hole Sun’ and ‘Spoonman’ – both of which won Grammies – and the album got a Grammy nomination for Best Rock Album in 1995. Superunknown also left its mark internationally when it achieved quintuple platinum status in the United States, triple platinum status in Canada, and gold status in the United Kingdom, Sweden, and the Netherlands.

Soundgarden’s final album was Down on the Upside, which the band produced themselves. The singles from this album include ‘Burden in My Hand’, ‘Pretty Noose’, and ‘Blow Up The Outside World’. Although the album did not do as well as the others, it still got a Grammy nomination for the single ‘Pretty Noose’.

Throughout 1996 and into ’97, there was a lot of tension and disagreement in the band. Cornell and Thayil had many disagreements over the creative direction of the band, as well as artistic visions for various songs. Soundgarden disbanded in April 1997.

Following the break-up of the band, Chris went on to pursue a solo career, from ’98-’00.  In 2001, Cornell joined with members of Rage Against the Machine to form Audioslave. Their self-titled debut was released in 2002, spawning the hits ‘Cochise’, ‘Show me How to Live’, and ‘Like a Stone’. It achieved Platinum status.

Audioslave’s second album came out in 2005. It was titled Out of Exile, and produced a hit by the same name, as well as the singles ‘Doesn’t Remind Me’, ‘Be Yourself’, and ‘Your Time Has Come’.

They followed this up with their last album featuring Cornell as vocalist, releasing Revelations in 2006, which sparked the singles ‘Revelations’ and ‘Original Fire’. Cornell would depart the group shortly after the album’s release due to tension between bandmates, and some misunderstandings that lead the public to believe that Chris (who had been sober for years) was using alcohol and drugs again. He was not.

In 2007, Cornell went back to his solo career. He has done several songs for movies, as well as a cd/dvd/digital download concert release called Chris Cornell: Unplugged in Sweden.

In 2010, Soundgarden reunited, and has been playing live shows – they headlined Lollapalooza 2010 – and making television appearances since. They have also released 2 retrospective albums, called Live on I5 and Telephantasm. Chris temporarily broke from the band in the spring of 2011 to go on a US solo tour, and has now joined back up with the rest of the guys for a Soundgarden summer tour.

Style Characteristics

Chris Cornell has an incredible vocal range, from B1-G5 in full voice, and up to E6 in falsetto. He is known for his growling, screaming delivery, and for his high-pitched wails. He can have a gravel edge to his voice, or have a very smooth crispness.

His bands have typically been known for loud guitars and pounding, driving drums. Some songs are slowed down and softer, more ballad-like, but most are hard-driven grunge and metal. One characteristic that Soundgarden, Audioslave, and solo Cornell songs all share are strongly poetic lyrics. All lyrics are written or co-written by Cornell, and he is a master.

Listening Selection

The song I chose for my listening selection is ‘Rusty Cage’, from the 1991 album Badmotorfinger. I chose this song because it showcases almost all of the many characteristics that make Soundgarden unique. Chris Cornell delivers a widely varied vocal performance, showing off his range as well as his ability to deliver different vocal styles, and transition between them smoothly.

As for the band, this song shows off their hard-hitting guitar and bass riffs, and incredible drumming from Matt Cameron. There is a ‘breakdown’ midway through the song, and this change in tempo and style was common in Soundgarden songs. It was just one of the many things that make Soundgarden great. Love them or hate them, they are an incredibly talented band, and ruled rock and roll for a number of years. Most would argue (correctly) that Chris Cornell’s vocals are what made the Soundgarden sound, and his reign as King of Grunge Metal has lasted through his time with Audioslave, and into the reunion of Soundgarden. LONG LIVE THE KING!

My ghost

You are my ghost,
I am your ash.
I am haunted by your absence,
And burnt by your presence.

You mock me.
I play your fool.
You burn me.
I strike the match.

I exist for silence.
You rattle my chains.
I shut my eyes to the world.
You project shadows on my eyelids.
I shout out for help.
You steal my breath.
I sleep for respite.
You crowd my dreams.

I pray for loneliness.
You will not let me down.

Yamhill County Art Co-op

This idea has been brewing in my mind for a long while, and has just recently become a dream that I have hope of making a reality. I had no idea that so many other people were thinking along the same lines. As always, I am dreaming big, and per usual, I have no idea where to begin or how to achieve my vision.
That's where you all come in...
I've had a hard time in trying to describe to people what I want to achieve, because I see it in my mind as a completed entity. I guess the best way to lay this out is using bulleted lists to describe both what I want us to HAVE, and what I'd like us to DO, or PROVIDE. I will then be asking for further ideas, and suggestions/help to make it happen. So, here goes...

I would like us to have a building/space large enough to house the following:

• At least one large studio/meeting room that can be used both as open studio space and as an occasional classroom.
• Gallery space
• Photographic studio and darkroom
• An area for 3-D art of all kinds (pottery, sculpture, metalworks, etc.)
• Pottery wheels and at least one kiln
• An art supply 'store', in which we sell supplies to members at wholesale prices.
• as much additional multi-purpose space as we can muster
• get 501(c)3 tax exempt status 

I would like us to do, or provide, the following:

• Make art accessible and affordable to the masses. Make it fun again! Remind adults how much fun it can be to get your hands dirty to create something beautiful!
• Provide use of space and equipment to any artist or group of artists who need it.
• Provide public art classes for all levels. Classes may be taught by art teachers & profs, professional or amateur artists. 
• Have a gallery to show local artists. We should be known as the gallery of up-and-comers. My goal is to balance the needs of the artist with also trying to keep our gallery prices within reason. I want us to be known as the gallery for the masses. The average working stiff should be able to find a piece in our gallery that he loves and appreciates, AND can afford to purchase!
• Bring art back into the schools through volunteerism, artist-in-residence programs, etc.
• Give back to the community as much as possible. I'm envisioning at least one gallery show per year, with proceeds going to a chosen charity, fundraising events throughout the year, public art installations created at little or no charge to the city/county...

I would like the co-op to be 'the place to go' for artists and creatives of all types. I'd love to see this become a gathering place, a place people come to collaborate and learn from each other. To bounce inspirations around and bring out the best in each other, across genres and mediums.
We are truly starting from scratch here, people! So far, we have nothing but an idea. If you are reading this, what I need from you, in addition to more ideas and suggestions, is your time, your dedication to making this a reality, and your expertise, whatever that might be.
We need help with getting a 501(c)3 designation, we need land and/or a building... Once we have the tax exempt status, anyone willing to donate property to us would get one heck of a tax write-off!
As I've said, I have a vision of this place up and running and fully functional. I know it is going to be a long road to get there. And as I said, I have no idea where to begin. I am busy with school and looking for work, so any help you can offer in any capacity will be greatly appreciated.
If you are interested in being involved in this process, please contact me through this blog, find me on Facebook (facebook.com/fyreandreign), or email me at chshire2020@yahoo.com.
We should have a co-op specific facebook page up soon, and at that time, we will also have an email and you will be able to sign up for a mailing list to receive updates and alerts to events. Thanks for reading!
Tina Berry

Phantom Limb

It's been a long time since I last posted any poetry. Time for a new one. If you 'get' this one, you will understand it immediately. If not, I'm afraid it's a phenomenon I couldn't ever make you understand...

PHANTOM LIMB

your sex is piracy
we are ships passing
you slide inside
but you don't know what I feel
you don't see what I am
you can't feel this phantom limb

itching and untouchable
love lies when left unseen
can you feel me?