Suicidal Dream (AKA Political Nightmare)

A few years ago, I saw video of a rescue off the Oregon coast. Always a dramatic scene, but this one was unusual... The guy stranded on the rocks appeared to not want a rescue, and tried to fight off the Coast Guard rescuers. Of course, they managed to do their jobs and save him. I have no idea whether he's happy about that or not...
This was around the same time that the nation was having a debate about how much sway the government should have in people's personal lives and decisions. We were deep in the muck of the Bush administration, and this incident came right on the heels of the Terri Schiavo case, so politics and personal freedoms were very much in confusion.
Anyway, that night it was difficult to get to sleep, and when I did, I had vivid dreams of walking into the ocean and not coming out. I woke sometime in the night to scribble some unintelligible stream-of-consciousness nonsense, that I have now distilled into a somewhat more understandable version of it's former self. I have tried to maintain the stream-of-consciousness style, while attempting to make it easier to read. I hope I found the right balance...

Suicidal Dream (AKA Political Nightmare)

Lying awake till 1 am, listening to Jewel and sobbing my esophagus inside out, trying to figure, when came this doubt? and when and how will i break out? panicked, i shout, but no one comes running to save me, so i wade into the ocean and let my weighted clothes carry me out to sea, and just as i fill my lungs to sing, this poor excuse for a rescue shows up to ruin the whole damned thing...
And i'm pleading with them to just leave me, let me find god, let me find peace, let me find mother nature and give her the kiss of life and a slap on the ass, someone's gotta do it, someone's gotta revive her soon or she'll keel over dead, and i can't live in a world with no seahorses or sand dollars, and the thought makes me fight like a steelhead on a string, but they've got me by the throat, they've got me in the boat...
Once again, the government has saved me from myself.